Mickey Rourke to Play Gay Rugby Player Gareth Thomas: Really Getting Into Role

Mickey Rourke, who looks more like an old transvestite than an athlete these days, is set to play gay rugby player Gareth Thomas in an upcoming film.

Rourke, who won a Golden Globe for his role in The Wrestler, has been taking his research and preparation for the film very seriously.

Apparently the Rourke is so invested in his character, he will have his front two teeth removed to more closely resemble Thomas.

Instead of getting the teeth removed authentically on the pitch like Thomas, however, Rourke is going to have it done surgically. Boo. I think he should have the gap replaced by a bottle opener or something cool after they finish filming.

I honestly don’t blame Rourke for taking such drastic measures. He has to go from looking like Jack Sparrow’s father to looking like a fit athlete more than 20 years his junior.

Rourke is also reportedly learning some Welsh for certain parts of the movie and has been spotted in Wales at several rugby games for research. And of course, he is learning to play rugby himself.

While he was back in New York City, he was spotted out practicing with a trainer. Fortunately, someone was nearby with a camera. Enjoy!

I feel I should mention that the tiny dog Rourke is kissing in the first pic is not an attempt to appear gayer. He has always been fond of canines of the teacup variety… I can’t vouch for the yellow shoes, white cat-eye glasses or leggings, though.

I’m not exactly sure why the 59-year-old Rourke was chosen for this role, but I know I’m glad. Those pictures are awesomely absurd and I hope there are more on the way.

Seriously, though, if Rourke pulls off this physical transformation I will eat the food stuck in your carpet.

Actually, I am not at all serious about that. But ESPN’s Rick Reilly was…

All kidding aside, the story of Gareth Thomas is incredibly moving and I enjoyed learning just the little bit I did about him while reading about the movie, and I’m genuinely looking forward to its release. Unfortunately, I can’t find much info on when that will be. Anyone know?

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Vote: High School and College Athletes in “Not Top 10″?

I’ve already said they shouldn’t be paid – at least not by their schools – but is it cool to feature them on a blooper reel?

For most of the non-professional athletes featured in ESPN’s Not Top 10, it is probably the only time they will ever be in a national television broadcast.

There is a reason the industry is called Sports Entertainment, and the Not Top 10 is certainly entertaining.  But, for the athletes not “officially” a part of that industry, is it cool for ESPN to profit from their shortcomings?  Maybe ESPN should be paying these kids.

Is it cool that ESPN includes high school and college athletes in the "Not Top 10?"

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Disclaimer: UU polls are not Scientific in the Classical Sense, but they are Precisely Awesome.

 

Posted in College, ESPN, Guest Drones, High School | Leave a comment

Michael Jordan Fined $100,000 for Being Nice

Strap on those Hanes and call Charlie Sheen, M.J., you owe the NBA $100,000.

Apparently, during the NBA lockout, there is basically a gag-order on against any owners talking to or about any players or the lockout or anything to do with anything, basically.

Kind of opressive, really. Unfortunately, in this article with the Sydney Herald Sun, Michael Jordan, who owns the Charlotte Bobcats, had this to say about former Aussie and current Milwaukee Buck Andrew Bogut:

“I love Bogut’s game. He’s made a very good start and he’s definitely gonna be a star. His big problem is that he’s been dealing with that elbow injury. But he is a star to be reckoned with (and) will be a star for some time.”

Sounds pretty harmless, right? I guess they were probably more upset by this quote by Jordan, though:

“We have stars like Bogut who are entitled to certain type of demands. But for us to be profitable in small markets, we have to be able to win ballgames and build a better basketball team.”

Kind of a shameless plug for the revenue-sharing plan Jordan and the players’ union are pushing for during the lockout negotiations… But still, a couple little quotes to an Australian newspaper? What harm did this really do?

Posted in NBA, WTF | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Novak Djokovic Still No.1 in Tennis, But Rafael Nadal Still No.1 in Wedgies

Oh, how things can change in just one year…

Novak Djokovic dominated in the U.S. Open final Monday, winning three of four sets against Rafael Nadal.

Just 12 months earlier, it was Nadal with the no.1 ranking, beating Djokovic in four sets in the U.S. Open final.

Djokovic didn’t just beat Nadal, he broke him, wearing him down game by game, even when he managed to let one slip away. It was the sixth time the pair had met in a tournament championship this year, and the sixth time Djokovic won.

John McEnroe remarked repeatedly on the young Serb’s ability to return Nadal’s serve, calling him one of the best returners in the history of the sport.

There is one thing, however, that Nadal dominates at 100% of the time… Public butt-picking.

Yep. Mr. Umpire and I noticed this little trait of Nadal’s a while ago, but it wasn’t until recently we realized exactly how bad it is. I started wondering how many times he did it per match. I was unprepared for what I found.

I got started watching the match a little late, I missed about half of the first set, but I started tallying ass-picks immediately. They quickly added up. By the end of the third set I had marked about 62… That was before the tiebreak. Keep in mind this is just what I can see from home based on the camera angles I’ve been given.

I noticed something else while I was tallying, and this is not for those with weak stomachs… He, almost 100% of the time, wipes his fingers on or around his nose immediately post-pick. Ew. Ew. Ew ew ewww. Then he usually puts his hair behind his ears quickly… Perhaps he thinks we won’t notice what he just did?

I’m baffled. Is it some form of Tourette’s? I’ve heard of elbow grease… But this?? How did this man get to the pinnacle of his profession, most of which unfolds live, right before the eyes of millions of people around the world, without someone, someone, telling him it is completely unacceptable to go rump-to-nose on TV??

I got to 75. I had to stop at that point. I was appalled. I knew he did it a lot, but that much??

With all the endorsements, all the product deals out there, Hanes or Under Armour hasn’t contacted this guy to help with his very obvious underwear problem??

He would have to stop wearing those bikini-style undies he is donning in the photo above, but… He could do testimonials!! He’d be the Mallorcan Michael Jordan of men’s undergarments!!

Posted in Tennis | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Qatar to Build a New City to Host 2022 World Cup

Qatar announced recently that would build the city of Lusail to host the 2022 World Cup.

The city will cost around $45.3 billion U.S. dollars to create, and supposedly will be home to 200,000 people. No reports as to where they will find 200,000 people in a country that has less than 1.5 million people to begin with… But hey, who doesn’t love a little optimistic speculation?

Call me crazy… But isn’t it just a little strange that a country with such strict alcohol laws can host a tournament with so many alcohol sponsorships?

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Stavros Ellianidis: Former Manager of Greek National Basketball Team Fined for Texting and Calling Referees

Stavros Ellianidis, former manager of the Greek national basketball, was fined 15,000 Euros (roughly $21,000) by FIBA Europe and had his accreditation revoked after he was caught texting and calling three different referees that were involved in games Greece played in.

I’m curious as to whether or not he was acting on his own, and whether it’s related to gambling. Any thoughts?

Based on everything I’ve read in discussion forums about this, apparently it’s not that uncommon in European leagues to have this kind of corruption.

If this guy was involved with the NBA, he probably would have already been assassinated. I’m hoping this is one European trend that doesn’t make it to America.

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LeBron James Has a Sister… And She Has a Mustache

20110909-103821.jpgEarlier today, LeBron James tweeted this picture and said he was going to Fashion Week in NYC to support his sister, LeBre’sha, the “upcoming model.”

It just goes to show what a famous brother will do for your career. The facial hair thing didn’t earn Courtney Love a Covergirl contract.

I’m not sure what is more disturbing, the fact that LeBre’sha has a full-on mustache or that she looks a lot like LeBron with a wig and some mascara.

I know you have been worried about your hairline, LeBron, but this Justin Bieber wig is not the answer…

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The Weekly WTF

To kick off this week’s installment of the WTF files, we have Mrs. Lamar Odom, otherwise known as Khloe Kardashian. Khloe was pictured leaving Good Morning America in a black mistake pantsuit with an adorable… Oh who can really look past the major camel toe. Really it’s less a camel toe and more like several camel toes jockeying for fabric.

Schweddy Balls have never tasted so good. Ben and Jerry’s is releasing a new flavor in commemoration of one of the great Saturday Night Live sketches… Yum. Ana Gasteyer, a member of the original Schweddy Balls skit, said “as a person and a performer, I am a sucker for holiday balls, and I have no doubt this ice cream will cause many to scream ‘good times.’”

In San Diego, Gumby attempted to rob a convenience store. Fortunately Gumby does have opposable thumbs, unfortunately he does not have fingers, and had trouble when he tried to grab for his weapon. Not only did he fail at robbery, he lost 27 cents while he was there.

Former Olympic gymnast Paul Hamm was arrested in Ohio for alleged assault after he refused to pay a cab fare and fought with the driver about it. After the police arrived, he was caught on video getting his head pushed into the hood after getting a little sassy with the officer. He was either completely wasted, or having a severe allergic reaction to cop, because at minute 1:44 in this video, he seems to momentarily lose consciousness.

Oscar De La Hoya is a golden boy who likes black fishnet. On himself. The picture is disturbing, so only click if you are ready to lose respect for De La Hoya forever. Apparently he has a problem with alcohol and cocaine. I would say he has more of a problem with his choice in undergarments.

Ryan Gosling said in an interview with E! that after watching First Blood he believed he was actually Rambo and took a Fisher-Price bag filled with steak knives and threw them at the other children. “I was suspended, and my parents were terrified,” Gosling said. Um… yeah.

After being left for two weeks without food or water, a Jakarta, Indonesia man’s dogs consumed him. I sometimes wish that happened to Vick.

In Amsterdam a 42-year old woman was charged for stalking after calling her 62-year old ex 65,000 times in one year. I’m going to break that down for you: that works out to an average of more than seven times an hour, every hour, for a year. That woman gets an A for effort. Or a D for dumbass. I’m not sure.

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Tiger Woods’ Former Mistress is a Sociopath

After spending years working for a newspaper and my whole life following the news, it’s unusual that someone’s lack of empathy can actually surprise me. Rachel Uchitel is one of those rare exceptions.

20110906-083520.jpgUchitel, the mistress who’s texts started the entire Tiger Woods scandal, was quoted in the New York Post as saying that she is “almost happy” her fiance died in the 9/11 tragedies.

She goes on to say she is glad they didn’t end up married where she believes she would have ended up as a”fat housewife with three kids in Sands Point, L.I.” Apparently she forgot the “no offense,” that usually follows such outright rudeness. Obviously this woman has no filter.

“I believe Andy was meant to die because he was too good,” Uchitel said. Oh, yeah, saying that bit totally makes it sound better, sweetheart.

Uchitel came a long way from when she was pictured distraught and holding a photo of Andy O’Grady. She eventually made hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to basically be a party tramp. I’m sorry, I think that’s called a “hostess” when you get paid that much.

20110906-083602.jpgI guess I really shouldn’t be that shocked that someone willing to carry on with a man she very obviously knew was married with children is not that great of a person. The surprising thing, I suppose, is that after all she has been through with the media she doesn’t know better than to say that kind of thing to a reporter.

I don’t blame Tiger Woods for picking a winner like Uchitel, really. He clearly was more interested in quantity than quality… Remember the Perkins waitress? Yikes.

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Don’t Hate Her Because She’s Beautiful: Selling Sex in Women’s Sports

In a recent interview with Dan Patrick, Hope Solo addressed how much sex sells sports and what her role was in the marketing of her sexuality.

20110906-121311.jpgWhen I read about the interview (i.e. before I listened to it for myself), my initial reaction was to be offended that Patrick ‘took it there.’ Here is a successful goalie for the U.S. Women’s National Team and he’s got to waste time talking about what photo shoot she may or may not be doing? Not cool.

Then I actually heard it, and ended up being more offended by Solo’s quasi-denial (then semi-backtrack) of it than of the question itself. When asked, she basically said that before the tournament, all marketing was based on the team and their skills, rather than how sexy the girls were.

Solo goes on to say that after the tournament, it is their “duty” to capitalize on any opportunity that will “bring attention to the sport.” I take issue with this, because I’m sorry, but no one who doesn’t already care about sports is going to watch you on Dancing With the Stars and then suddenly: A) give a crap about what you do on a soccer field, or B) go out and learn anything at all about women’s soccer. It’s just true.

No one who doesn’t already care about soccer is going to check you out nude in the body issue of ESPN The Magazine and suddenly realize they forgot to program their TiVo for your next soccer game.

It doesn’t bring attention to the sport, it brings attention to you. Don’t try to justify it with altruism. Just admit it…It’s sexier.

Solo did make some good points, though. She said people don’t watch the games because they’re cute on the field. I agree wholeheartedly. But I also argue that, really, not too many people are watching, relative to men’s sports, during any given performance.

The fact is, there is simply less money in women’s sports than there is in men’s athletics. It’s also a fact that in women’s sports, there is usually more money to be made in the long-term commercial advertising deals than any prize, purse or athletic contract to be had. Hope Solo will probably profit more from the exposure through Dancing than she ever has through her soccer skills.

20110906-013113.jpgEarning those deals is more often than not determined by the athlete’s marketability, and for women, that means, basically, how hot is she? I’m not arguing that she’s a bad person for doing it, I just wish she were a little more straightforward about it.

For me, it boils down to this: these women have spent their whole lives working their way up to the pinnacle of their craft, and we wouldn’t be even discussing how hot or not they are if they hadn’t.

That being said, I don’t blame anyone for making the most of what they have and turning that into dollars. Way to go ladies, you earned your places at the top… Go ahead and make some money while you’re there. It certainly doesn’t last long – does it, Jennie Finch and Amanda Beard?

I guess the larger question is whether it matters. Does it hurt the image of the female athlete on a whole?

I say no, it really doesn’t.

First of all, we seem to make a much bigger deal about when women athletes exploit their sexuality. Male athletes are not shy about selling sex in magazine ads and commercials all the time. Hello Tom Brady and David Beckham…

Second, for most women, college is the end of the road for athletics in the first place. If people like Anna Kournikova, Danica Patrick, Natalie Gulbis and Hope Solo are what it takes to create a post-collegiate market that allows young women to at least hope they might see a financial reward at the end of all the time and dedication they have put into their skill, then so be it. I think in terms of keeping girls interested in sports, the more high-profile women athletes we have out there, the better.

Really, while we all fantasize about how great it would be to be a professional athlete, in the end, to this handful of people who are lucky enough for that to be the case, it is also a job, and they deserve to make all of what the market says they are worth, even if some of that is based on aesthetics. They have earned it. Remember, they didn’t get those gorgeous bodies sitting around and reading blogs all day.

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