Author Archives: Underwire Umpire

Greed Isn’t Good: The NBA Lockout Edition

Last week, David Stern announced the NBA is cancelling its first two weeks of games and said earlier this week that if an agreement hasn’t been reached during federal mediation tomorrow, his “gut feeling” is that there will be no … Continue reading

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The Self-Fulfilling Blackout

On a beautiful Sunday in the beginning of the NFL season, no football team should have any trouble selling tickets… Not the case in Cincinnati. With only 43,363 paying customers in attendance, the Bengals hit a new low. Paul Brown … Continue reading

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Mickey Rourke to Play Gay Rugby Player Gareth Thomas: Really Getting Into Role

Mickey Rourke, who looks more like an old transvestite than an athlete these days, is set to play gay rugby player Gareth Thomas in an upcoming film. Rourke, who won a Golden Globe for his role in The Wrestler, has … Continue reading

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Michael Jordan Fined $100,000 for Being Nice

Strap on those Hanes and call Charlie Sheen, M.J., you owe the NBA $100,000. Apparently, during the NBA lockout, there is basically a gag-order on against any owners talking to or about any players or the lockout or anything to … Continue reading

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Novak Djokovic Still No.1 in Tennis, But Rafael Nadal Still No.1 in Wedgies

Oh, how things can change in just one year… Novak Djokovic dominated in the U.S. Open final Monday, winning three of four sets against Rafael Nadal. Just 12 months earlier, it was Nadal with the no.1 ranking, beating Djokovic in four sets in the U.S. … Continue reading

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Qatar to Build a New City to Host 2022 World Cup

Qatar announced recently that would build the city of Lusail to host the 2022 World Cup. The city will cost around $45.3 billion U.S. dollars to create, and supposedly will be home to 200,000 people. No reports as to where they … Continue reading

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Stavros Ellianidis: Former Manager of Greek National Basketball Team Fined for Texting and Calling Referees

Stavros Ellianidis, former manager of the Greek national basketball, was fined 15,000 Euros (roughly $21,000) by FIBA Europe and had his accreditation revoked after he was caught texting and calling three different referees that were involved in games Greece played in. I’m curious as to whether … Continue reading

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LeBron James Has a Sister… And She Has a Mustache

Earlier today, LeBron James tweeted this picture and said he was going to Fashion Week in NYC to support his sister, LeBre’sha, the “upcoming model.” It just goes to show what a famous brother will do for your career. The facial … Continue reading

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The Weekly WTF

To kick off this week’s installment of the WTF files, we have Mrs. Lamar Odom, otherwise known as Khloe Kardashian. Khloe was pictured leaving Good Morning America in a black mistake pantsuit with an adorable… Oh who can really look … Continue reading

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Tiger Woods’ Former Mistress is a Sociopath

After spending years working for a newspaper and my whole life following the news, it’s unusual that someone’s lack of empathy can actually surprise me. Rachel Uchitel is one of those rare exceptions. Uchitel, the mistress who’s texts started the … Continue reading

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